I went to see hamlet and the guy playing hamlet was rather cute and had a lot of shirtless scenes going on and so I stared at him and tried to make eye contact until he caught my eye and I wiggled my eyebrow and he broke character and smiled and after that I would catch him glancing my way and after the play was over he came into the lobby and pulled me into his dressing room and that is how I lost my virginity to someone with his own Wikipedia page
today a customer asked me for a “medium whatever” and then got frustrated with me when i asked him what he meant
this is it
this is the post that 100% accurately describes working with the public
If you’re hot and you think I’m hot you need to speak the fuck up
MY PARENTS LEFT ME HOME ALONE FOR THE WEEK EVERYONE COME OVER FOR A HUGE PARTY
update: it’s been 5 minutes and i’m walking around my house just in my underwear and moon shoes, party is getting pretty wild
my teacher in class the other day said “Make sure you don’t do things on the internet you might regret, because they will most likely affect your future badly” then my good friend just looked at me and whispered really quietly “Moon shoes…”
This Is Halloween - Panic! At The Disco
i’ve never hit reblog so quickly omfg
the fact that there’s only about 5000 people who’ve reblogged this scares me. That means that less that 5000 people know where these come from.
I feel old…
literally every person on earth has read the very hungry caterpillar
Bunny falls asleep
bun didn’t actually fall asleep!! bunnies flop over like this when they feel safe and comfortable in their environment. they rarely stretch out and lay down because they’re prey animals, so when ur bun does completely lays on their side or their back, it means they feel 10000% safe around you
The guy in the sleeping bag wiggling around
The two people in the front wearing one shirt.
Are we really not going to talk about the guy in the back who is attached to another guy’s back while spinning?
WHAT ABOUT THE GUY THAT FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW
WHY IS IT BACK
no you guys don’t understand, not only is this the first harlem shake out there… these guys aren’t normal military. This is “Telemarkbataljonen”. They’re pretty much the Norwegian equivalent of the fucking black ops. My brother knows a guy in this battalion, and when asked what they do there, he looked my brother dead in the eye and said “That is strictly confidential”. These guys are hard as shit, which makes this even more hilarious
Art is the Weapon
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CRAYONS BUT THEN IT WASN’T
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
can you imagine how fucking relieved the french must have been when we reached the year 2000?
they went from having to say “mille neuf cents quatre-vingt-dix-neuf” to just having to say “deux mille” to say the year